Commitment, balance, and some Inbetweeners zingers

As I write this post, I am less than 48 hours from marrying my lady. 😊🤠😎 #allthefeels


Full disclosure: this post is very introspecty so if emotions make you feel like trolling and you’re running low on classic burn material I’ve linked up this page of sick Inbetweeners zingers to help you out. Oh and last preface, Atmosphere's "Trying To Find A Balance" is a great theme song for this post. 


 So anyway, commitment has been on my mind a lot, especially as I explore several new project opportunities with long term potential in this same time period. The thrust of my current reflection is: comparing self* commitment vs social commitments.


 How do I cultivate a balance between self commitment and social commitments? 

To start, I've been reflecting on how I value and prioritize my relationship with my self.  For better and worse, I think I'm a swell dude to spend time with, especially when it's me, myself, and I.**


The activities that define my current relationship with my self are:

  • reading/learning
  • biking
  • yoga and meditation
  • cooking
  • sleeping
  • thinking, writing and sketching

The function of these activities is cultivating flow. If you're not familiar with flow, you probably are and just didn't know some people call it flow. 

Flow is more than a term to describe your bros great hair. Flow is the psychology of optimal experience, and we all pursue it and experience it in nuanced ways. For me, I find flow most consistently via the above "self-centered" activities (literally meaning centered on the self activities, not necessarily meaning selfish activities). 


Now, its important to mention here that my (a) social commitments are not mutually exclusive with my (b) self commitment, and I do love when the two align. Such as when I notice meditation and yoga help me (b) feel more grounded and calm AND (a) show up more completely during project scoping or negotiations.  


But the rub lies in the fact that my self commitment and my social commitments are competing for the same resources: my attention, energy, and motivation.


And this is tricky because recent improvements in my biochemical health (working on dat Histamine Intolerance, ftw) has made my situational extroversion broader… meaning improved energy levels have resulted in my behaving more like an extrovert. Meaning I commit more socially because it turns out other people don’t suck as much as I thought they did.


So, to try and wrap this post in some logic and make it actionable for you *the audience* (shout out to Attention Starved Children) I shall conclude with this visual I found on the Googles.  I find this framework to be a helpful thought-organizing-tool as I try and balance and evolve my self commitment and social commitments. 



So where are you at in this framework?

How do you think about your self/social commitments in relation to your emotional competencies?

I hope these errant thoughts resonate with you in some form. Either way, please drop some thoughts in the comments below and/or ping me on Twitter, @blueRavenDigtl.  

* entire separate posts can/should be written exploring how to define "self", but I digress...

** writing this post was a good reminder that I don’t understand english grammar goodly, at; all. Please feel free to kindly point out the many errors of my ways. Turns out cramming my head full of Javascript for the last 9 months has not been good for my English writing ability…